I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
