I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
