I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
