the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
