I'm jealous of your bromance
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize