We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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