White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
