you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
