I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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