Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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