This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
