i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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