We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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