We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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