Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
