dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
