So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
