i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
