that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
