dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
