i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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