I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize