you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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