If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The beer is more important than you right now.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
