Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
