And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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