You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
