yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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