why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
