He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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