shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
