She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
