I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
