i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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