The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize