I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize