Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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