i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
