Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
