I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
