guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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