So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
