So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
