I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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