i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
