Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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