Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
