im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
