this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
