So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
should my penis look like a turkey
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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