i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
