'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
