I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
