I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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