I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
