So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
