Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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