and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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