Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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