U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
