Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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