he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
